My Approach to Health

When I was in my thirties, my mom died, I put on 20-30 pounds of fat, my formerly elite athlete body started breaking down, and I got divorced from my first wife who I adored. Sure, lots of "good" stuff happened to me during my thirties too. But it was this "bad" stuff that really got my attention.

One way it got my attention was to bring the following thought into consciousness: "I'm gonna die some day, and at this rate, that day might not be far off." It was the first time such a thought had ever crossed my mind.

Harboring that thought had the effect of focusing my attention on how and why my body was failing. Fast forward a decade, and I am now 44. In some important, measurable ways, I am back to being as healthy as I was in my 20s. Yeah, baby!

Of course, all that means for me now is that I'm thinking: "I'm still gonna die some day, but hopefully, that day won't be anytime soon."

Well, I'm not one to sit back and just "hope" things will turn out OK, if there's something I can do to influence the game in my favor. And with the game of my own health, there is much I can do.

One thing I do is to be aware, on a daily basis, of how enegetic my mind and body are. Is my mind sharp and voracious? Is my body itching to get out of this chair and get moving? When my mind and body are healthy, both questions are answered with a resounding "yes!".

If the answer to either is "no", or "not really", then I ask "why?", and get busy getting back to feeling healthy.

But that's just the day-to-day operation of my mind and body. In addition, there are things I do with a longer-term focus. In other words, I believe that even if I am feeling great today with mind and body bursting with energy, it is possible that something small inside me is not quite right. And that small something, if not attended to, can grow into a big thing.

Now, realize that I am an anti-hypochondriac. That is, I have a bias toward answering those daily mind and body questions with a firm "yes". I tend to be blind, on a day-to-day basis, about negative stuff concerning myself and my body. It's part of my annoying personality type.

So that's why a person like me needs to add this longer-term approach to the daily one. It's sort of a corrective feature (it corrects for my day-to-day hubris).

Anyway, one of the key elements of my longer-term approach is, every May, I undergo the male blood panel test provided by the Life Extension Foundation. In doing this, it is as if I am the great warrior Achilleus, born of a mortal mother, but gifted with the power of the gods. Meanwhile, the LEF is the Oracle of Delphi. As Achilleus, I say to the Oracle LEF: "I know I am a god, well, at least almost so. Just tell me where my freaking vulnerable achilles heel is."

Well, being an Oracle, the LEF speaks in riddles. It is my task to solve these riddles.

As I mentioned in the Question I posted last night on low WBC, over the past two years, the LEF has said to me: "You will find your achilles heel in the paucity of your white soldiers."

Don't you just hate answers like that? Sometimes, I think that people who give answers like that just want you to come back and ask some more questions, only this time you will have to pay. (Sure enough, that the LEF's business model. ).

Anyway, with just a little searching on the web, I have arrived at the following translation of the LEF's crytic message. That translation is the following: "Take a bath, you slob!"

Sure, my mother had always insisted that I clean and groom myself (but that advice always struck me as sort of optional.) And sure, when my wife calls me "Pig Pen", I realize there's a little jab in that humor (but hey, I loved the Snoopy gang; didn't you?). And yeah, I have noticed that when I walk into stores with my dirty work clothes and ungroomed head, the cashiers almost always ask to see my ID when I pay by VISA (but hey, it's helpful to see what it feels like on the other side of the money chasm).

But none of this fazed me. Nope. Neither mother's instruction, nor wife's criticism, nor social opprobrium could get through this armor-plated thick skull of mine. It wasn't until yesterday, when LEF's message to me became loud and clear, that I finally got the religion.

For the LEF has said to me: "Hey asshole, you're doing pretty good. Better than most in fact. But if you don't start grooming and bathing like normal people do, then you, or at least your survivors, are going to make money off of your life insurance company."