Coping with Grief

I have had lots of experience with coping with grief - both personally and professionally. 

Body and Heart.

For your body, make sure you nourish it.  I don't recommend any metabolic detoxification programs while people are experiencing grief because it zaps more energy.  This wouldn't be helpful.

What I find helpful though, is taking a good mutli-vitamin, B-complex vitamins, at least 2 gm of vitamin C (if you don't have a high iron count) and calcium/magnesium.

This is a basic protocol for good brain chemistry.  If you are drinking alcohol, then extra vitamin B1 would be good.

I would strongly recommend to do what you can to eliminate alchol completely.  This is because (even though you feel temporarily better) the alcohol itself is intensifying your grief.  Your brain will feel much lighter when you don't drink any alcohol.

L-Glutamine in high doses can curb alcohol cravings, as does 5-HT. 

For your heart (i.e. emotions/mind/spirit), classical homeopathy may be extremely beneficial.  Some people don't respond to this form of medicine.  While others, experience a miraculous change in clarity of mind, and the uplifting of their moods and spirit.  The great thing about this medicine is that there are no side effects.  Seeing a classical homeopath (someone really good) - and if you are the type of person that responds well to homeopathy, - could be the key that unlocks your grief.

The first three months after my mom died, I was a wright-off.  I couldn't think clearly and my emotions were a roller coaster.

As time passed on, I started to focus on all the wonderful experiences I had with her.  I would catch myself when I started to think how horrible her disease was, how much suffering she endured, how unfair this was - and then I consciously switched gears.  I decided to concentrate on the wonderful things.

Like the month before she died, I took a bath (my clothes on and all) in large jacuzzi with her.  She had never been in a jacuzzi before.  I had to hold her up because she couldn't move.  My dad was there holding her up from the other side so she didn't slip down into the water.  When the jets and bubbles started up, this woman who couldn't talk or move, starting laughing.  It was hilarious.

Then I got to thinking and remembering and focusing on all those things that I was so grateful to her for, and for her presence in my life in detailed and specific circumstances.

I cried a lot also.  I think crying is very healthy.  It's a toxin release from the heart. 

After awhile, it was bitter sweet sadness I felt when I thought of her, and thought about how much I missed her.

Now, I just smile when I think of her.  Sometimes I burst out laughing.

Sorry for going on and on.  It is clear that you think your dad was special.  Awesome!

I think my mom was special too.  Here's the story that I burst out laughing at when I think about it:

One night at 3 a.m. my mom gets this phone call.  The caller starts talking to her about underwear and had she had a chance to try it on.  Well, English isn't my mom's first language, and she thought it was my brother Peter calling her from California (3 hour time zone difference).  She thought that Peter forgot about the time difference and couldn't for the life of her understand why Peter would be calling her up about underwear since he had moved years ago and she didn't have any of his underwear lying around in the house.  Then the conversation went on and on and on, and she was wondering if he wanted the underwear washed and figured that the next time he came for a visit, she would wash his underwear.  Well this conversation went on for about 5 minutes until my mom finally figured out what was going on. Then she says to the obscene phone caller in her wonderful Greek accent:  "You're not my son!!!  To hell with you!!!" 

We laughed for weeks about that one.

Bottom line is that there are lots of things you can do.  I've touched on a miniscual few.

When you feel really strong, are off the alcohol, and feel more clear, doing a metabolic detox would be a great idea.  You'll feel even better.

For now, I would recommend the basics.

Good luck.  Grief is part of our collective human experience that helps us grow closer to each other, helps us grow more in our love for ourselves and helps us grow more in our love for others (children, etc.)

Take care.