How-to: Fax About Ear Wax

I've tried ear candling to remove the wax, and it didn't work for me, however some people swear by it. Ear wax is created by special sweat glands in the body to protect us from foreign material from entering our ears (water repellant, dust, dirt, bacteria, insects). The best way to remove your ear wax is to have it flushed out by somebody who knows what they are doing with water (known as lavage), I've also had a doctor use a special instument (mini shovel-like thing) to remove it.

Ingredients:

• One or two plugged up ears with enough ear wax in them to:

• Make a queen bee jealous.
• Have a lifetime of candle light dinners.
• Have Johnson & Johnson consider making you CEO of their furniture and floor wax division.
• Keep all the skis in Aspen Colorado in top form.
• Have Madam Tussaud's museum consider hiring you.
• Revolutionize the art of Bikini and body waxing.
• Consider franchising yourself out to Turtle Auto Wax.

• Mineral or olive oil
• Cotton balls
• An experienced healthcare provider that doesn't get grossed out too easily.

Steps:

1. Make an appointment with a healthcare provider to have your ear lavaged.
2. The night before your appointment:
   • put some mineral oil into your ears , as this will soften the wax and make it easier to remove
   • plug your ears with cotton balls so that the oil doesn't drip out while you sleep
     
3. Feel good about having that Gucky-Stuff removed.
4. Try not to feel bad about losing the excuse of impaired hearing when your wife wants you to do chores around the house.