Hi randy1. I took the liberty of adding a photo to your wonderful recipe. Not wishing to impose on your creativity, please feel free to delete the photo I have submitted and leave it blank, or change it to one you would rather see there.
My guess is that amelia's children are under 3 and randy1's children are 10 and older. For a toddler, yeah, messes are part of wonderful learning. For a 14 year old, (unless you're going to get into the sandbox with them), it would be more helpful to ask your child why he or she is making the mess. Unless you ask you won't know. For all you know, your child could be asking you for more attention or be displaying behaviour that is oblivious to the wants of other people. This requires more than an attitude of "messes are wonderful learning".
I used to be a yeller to motivate my children to do what I wanted them to do. A HUGE yeller. I no longer do that. And there are 2 reasons for this. #1, I look at what I am judging. Is a messy house a "bad" thing? Or is it a masterpiece of creativity that my children created? Merely a differing perspective. And #2, I would ask them questions: Why do they want to mess up my masterpiece of cleaning? I would ask them to join in and help me create what I wanted: a beautiful clean house. I would also ask them what I could help them create after the house was cleaned.
I think it's fantastic that you've found a way to work through the initial feelings of anger. When the day comes that you don't even feel any anger at all, I wonder if your kids will still "mess up the house" (i.e. do stuff that used to piss you off). That is, I suspect that kids do stuff like that purposely for attention. We're already seeing this with our 17-month-old. e.g., We've learned not to laugh when she smears her oatmeal in her hair.
I wrote this recipe because for me the appropriate reaction,as my kids would tell you has traditionally been yelling. I have tried to move away from that because it'sreally not productive and sometimes very scary for the kids. I understand the productive alternatives and the appropriate steps; it's just difficult to make it happen in the situation when it really matters.
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Hi randy1. I took the liberty of adding a photo to your wonderful recipe. Not wishing to impose on your creativity, please feel free to delete the photo I have submitted and leave it blank, or change it to one you would rather see there.
My guess is that amelia's children are under 3 and randy1's children are 10 and older. For a toddler, yeah, messes are part of wonderful learning. For a 14 year old, (unless you're going to get into the sandbox with them), it would be more helpful to ask your child why he or she is making the mess. Unless you ask you won't know. For all you know, your child could be asking you for more attention or be displaying behaviour that is oblivious to the wants of other people. This requires more than an attitude of "messes are wonderful learning".
Let's let children be children! They play, explore, get dirty, make messes...it is all part of the wonderful learning process!!!
I used to be a yeller to motivate my children to do what I wanted them to do. A HUGE yeller. I no longer do that. And there are 2 reasons for this. #1, I look at what I am judging. Is a messy house a "bad" thing? Or is it a masterpiece of creativity that my children created? Merely a differing perspective. And #2, I would ask them questions: Why do they want to mess up my masterpiece of cleaning? I would ask them to join in and help me create what I wanted: a beautiful clean house. I would also ask them what I could help them create after the house was cleaned.
I think it's fantastic that you've found a way to work through the initial feelings of anger. When the day comes that you don't even feel any anger at all, I wonder if your kids will still "mess up the house" (i.e. do stuff that used to piss you off). That is, I suspect that kids do stuff like that purposely for attention. We're already seeing this with our 17-month-old. e.g., We've learned not to laugh when she smears her oatmeal in her hair.
I wrote this recipe because for me the appropriate reaction,as my kids would tell you has traditionally been yelling. I have tried to move away from that because it'sreally not productive and sometimes very scary for the kids. I understand the productive alternatives and the appropriate steps; it's just difficult to make it happen in the situation when it really matters.