Posted December 1, 2008, by
kimMy patient was the same age as I was and her little girl 4 yrs. of age, was exaclty the age of my precious little girl at home. So, from the get go I identified with her.My little girl is now 18 and I sure wonder how her little girl is doing now. Funny how my children are always little , even my sons who are both over 6 foot are my little boys ( in my mind and in my heart).A mothers' love for her children and a childs' love for their mother is really beyond words. However, I will try with words to paint the picture of this wonderful love as I witnessed it that day 14 yrs. ago.My patient was at one time absolutley gorgious. Her picture at the bedside was of her and her husband. She was dressed in a stunning dress and she really was breath- takingly beautiful. Now she lay in her bed with no hair, scaley patches all over her skin and a body twice her original size as a result of the steroids she needed to take to prevent seizures.Being the same age really caused me to personalize all of my interactions with her.
Then came that day that will forever be etched in my mind. Her little girl was in to visit her Mommy. She hopped up onto the bed beside her so the two of them sat side by side. Her little girl was playing with a hand held mirror and as she was holding it she could see her reflection, as well as her Mothers' reflection in the mirror.With absolutley no hesitation she blurted out..."Mommy you are so beautiful" and in response her mother said enthusiastically "thank-you honey".The little girls' father looked at me and I at him and without speaking a word we both knew we had witnessed something truly special.
That night I went home and was quite emotional so I told my family that I needed to have a wee nap . After only a few minutes I heard the little patter of feet and then felt my little girl hop into my bed and lay down beside me. She began to rub my back and then asked me if I needed a hug.
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Ahhhhhh. That's so cute. I also think that children learn from immitation from what they repetitively hear. My guess is that your beautiful patient often told her daughter that she was beautiful. My guess is that you have often rubbed your daughter's back and asked if she needed a hug. This kind of learning is precious learning.
Thanks again for the story. I believe that we're born with only one form of communication: emotion. Later, we communicate with words and intellectualism. But we need to be taught that. In some people, the teaching of the latter tends to "un-learn" the former. But for all of us, as children, especially the younger ones, we're emotional savants. The children just "get it" immediately, without the need for complicated thoughts to interpret or paraphrase their understandings. I love watching when my now 3-year-old daughter strokes my wife's face in a comforting way. Without any words, she knows just when to do that.